Horse Shit

After several years, I remembered I had a blog. Seems kind of pointless to have one if I don't use it....
Add to that I went on a search and destroy mission just to figure out what email and password I used for this account. Fucking facebook....ruined everything....I swear, I used to think WalMart was the anti-christ. Now I am convinced it's facebook. I won't even give them the satisfaction of proper capitalization.

As much as I love technology, it's ruining us as a species. People used to actually talk to each other. Now, it's all about status updates. Schools used to teach penmanship, not anymore...just type so you can create more status updates. Am I the only one who sees just how fucked we are and how much worse it's going to get? And this is the good news.....

Welcome 2014. Sure as shit can't be much worse than 2013. That sounds worse than my personal reality, but, really? Was 2013 all that great for anyone? 2013 saw my job "eliminated." At the tail end of my employment, I was miraculously saved from death-by-poverty by securing an even better job. Of course, now I have to commute and my health benefit costs are almost doubled, but I managed to avoid unemployment. So, 2013 ended well.

All but one of the other blogs I follow are pretty much gone now, too. Maybe they've all gone to antichristbook. Oh, well....I'm not bovered...

Life After Breath

It was by accident that I remembered I even had this blog. I was sorting through old emails when I saw the first request I made to reset my password. Of course, I couldn't remember what the hell I set that to, so I had to reset it again. Even as painless as that was, I still wonder...."what the hell am I doing this for?" It's not like I am all that witty, or even have much of anything to say. Besides, no one really listens to me, after all, look who is in the White House. Boo me now, but when we are all on the same economic playing field swapping Ameros, I'll be right beside you, crying my eyes out.

So....my wife and I finally live together. That only took one year of living apart while married to accomplish. Ironically, we have had a bit of a rough start with that. But, I know that eventually everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

I've been playing in a band for a couple years now, too. That has had its ups and downs. Financially, it has cost me more than I have earned. But psychologically, it has helped me stay in my realm of sanity. And, sure, it's fun, especially when it's loud.

I can't say for sure if I will post again. I felt this "need" to, I dunno....say something after not posting for...um....ever. So, hey...if you find something by me here, great, if not, well...that's great, too.

Miracles Never Cease

Ok, so much for the personal info block...

I got married on Friday, October 19, 2007. It was something I swore I would never do again. In fact, I mentioned in an earlier post that it would take either a miracle or a miraculous woman to make me change my mind. Both happened.

If the third time truly is the charm, then I must be truly charmed. I am grateful for everything I have in my life, especially my bride.

Miracles

I really need one for tomorrow.

Holy Snapping Sushi Batman!

Christ on a stick! It's been so damn long since I posted, I forgot my damn password! The hoops I had to go through to get back in were not too cumbersome, but were still annoying.

So, um, like....yeah. It's not like there hasn't been anything to write about in all these past months. Just haven't felt like it. Why today? Shit, I dunno...why not? Probably because I have about 40 minutes left at work today and just didn't feel like working anymore. In fact, I don't feel like working any more at all. Wish I could retire and just play for the rest of my life. Yeah...good luck with that...

Made tremendous strides with the yard this year. Sadly, MI has been in a drought, and my back yard is a nice shade of toast brown. But, hey...all the 9 years of overgrowth is gone, all the garbage is gone, and it almost looks like someone who actually gives a shit lives in my house!

I had lots of fantastic help. A lot came from my mother. Once she left, I undid most of what she had changed. Just not into lawn ornaments or plant labels. Nor am I into orange day lillys prominently displayed in the front of my house. But she did a lot of weeding and whacking, so that was a bonus. Oh, yeah, she is moving near me too....great.... I love my mother...but prefer her in smaller doses (haven't I said that before???)

But the most amazing thing that has happened to me since I last posted is the grand miracle of all miracles. I swore to myself that I would never do this again (not to mention that I prefer to not write about my personal stuff here), but I asked a wonderful woman to marry me. I have heard from many that the third time is a charm, but all I know is that I love this woman more than I ever knew it was possible to love someone.

In a related story, I recently found out just how psychotic my last girlfriend really is. You would think that by moving 1300 miles away, that would pretty much indicate the end of the show. But we tried the "let's remain friends" thing and when I told her I was getting married, she proceeded to call incessantly leaving me explicit voice mails on how she blew my best (and herpetic) friend. To top that off, she later sent me an e-mail expressing her devotion and willingness to do anything to be with me again. All I could think of was "Was that going through your mind while you were blowing my best friend?" I politely told her to fuck off. I hope she does call or e-mail again so I can offer her some names and numbers of other friends for her to have sexcapades with.

Wow...ranted more about psycho that the good stuff. Not good....

So...back to the good life.....

We don't have a definite wedding date in mind...it's slightly more complicated when we live 50 miles and a state apart. But, I am in this for the long haul. This is my final shot at the grand prize and I plan to make this one work.

When one thinks about previous relationships, there is always one constant: you. So, reflection on my earlier two mistakes, I had to wonder if it was just me that was wrong. I pondered that for about 13 seconds and decided: "No, they were all freaking nuts." That seems to work very well for me. I know I have my quirks and oddities, but who cares?

For now, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life and I intend to stay that way.

50 Lashes With a Wet Noodle

Guilty! Guilty as charged Your Honor! I have not posted to my blog in too many moons to appropriately call myself a decent blogger! For that crime, I must succomb to the punishement of your bidding! Um....no, I refuse to listen to Britney Spears' Greatest Hits. No human should be subjected to THAT....

Ok...so where did I leave off?....Oh, yeah....

After months of roller coaster rides through the real estate amusement park, I decided to leave civilization and move into a cave. Sadly, the badgers and raccoons threw me out, so I had to look for another house. Fortunately for me, I found a repo. So, since October, I have been the proud owner of a 3 bedroom mortgage. Why so much space, you may ask? Because I am a freaking pack rat and have way too much shit. Honestly, though, this is the first time I have lived anywhere and haven't felt like I was drowning in a sea of personal belongings. I don't feel cramped, crowded, or overwhelmed.

The move....well....let's not go there. It could have been better, but it really could have been a LOT worse. I had some fantastic help, just not enough of it - the perils of being a hermit.

There were a lot of things I had to accomplish prior to the move. Little things like paint the entire interior. Subtle things like rip up all the carpet to expose the hardwood floors. Tedious things like clean everything with disenfectant and grease stripper. Oh, and let's not forget simple repairs like plumbing and wall patching. I never knew that wallpaper adhesive could be used as demolition materials.... But, after all that work, I can honestly say that I am very pleased with how things turned out. Ok, that's a big understatement.

So, yeah....like the house is 50 or 60 years old....hardwood floors throughout the entire main floor - minus the kitchen and bathrooms (plural!!!). The basement is partially finished in that mid-60s panelling decor - but not completely hideous. The lot is larger than a standard quarter acre and massively overgrown. But I like that sort of thing and I will thrive in the Spring with frillions of outdoor projects - provided I can get to it before my mother comes up to stay for the summer and re-landscapes everything.

Work has been "interesting" to say the least. I now have new boss. Not too sure what to make of this guy just yet....that jury is still out. So far, though, I am not so sure I agree with the path my current position is headed. But, like most everything else, I am sure that will change.

Lastly, I made the final big decision for the future of my family line: it stops with me. Yes, there will never be any little Gerns. That's a bit personal for me, I know, to post here. But, hey, it's something to write about, which is better than the months of stagnation I have left thus far.

So, yeah, it's almost Xmas. For years, I have loathed this season (here come the jeers), but this year, things are different. I actually have a little tree in my house. I even have a few decorations out and about. Hey, that's monumental for me. So instead of my usual "Bah Humbug!" (or as I prefer "Bah Humjob!"), I actually possess a bit of Christmas cheer this year.

Now, if I could just wheel in my vat of eggnog....

Hand Me A Towel

Well...I didn't get the house. Not my grandparents' house that is. While I was out of state on vacation, the owner decided to wait for her open house. Everyone in the business knows that most open houses don't do shit for the sale of a house. In fact, she only had 2 people come to the open house. But, as Fate would have it, one of the bastards decided to make a better offer than I could match.

So, after wallowing in a shallow pool of depression, I got back on the horse. I found 2 more houses that have my curiosity peaked. I made an offer on one, and don't really care if they accept or not. I will try one more place and then pack it in for the winter. I can't say that I am too pleased with my current agent, and here in MI, I had to sign an agreement that sticks me with her for 6 months. Strange state laws here, man.

Friday also marks yet another milestone for me: 42 years of existence in this stench we call life. That only is true if I have had too much garlic or beans, but it was fun to type. Some have said the 40s are the new 30s, but no one told me that until after I got here. If I knew that ahead of time, I would have been a hell of a lot more productive so I could party a little more now. Not that I feel the need to party more, just would have been a lot better to have a little more relaxation at this point.

Summer is almost gone again. Never cared much for the fall...and don't even start talking about winter. Ugh. Maybe I'll just steam clean my carpets and call it a week.