The Annoying Bitch I Work With
This post is not, by any means, an attempt to compete, compare, or contrast with The Disgusting Girl I Work With. It is simply a rant.
First, understand that the company I work for is about 85% female. This makes for interesting cross-cubicle chat - much of which I have the misfortune to overhear whether I want to or not. "No, I can't walk with you today; I'm on my period." I don't want or need to hear this shit. I am a fairly sensitive man, but I don't really want to know anyone's bodily functions at any given time. Just like I don't think they would want to hear me say, "I can't come to your cubicle at the moment, I have a really bad case of jock itch."
But there is one woman in particular that affects me like fingernails on a chalkboard. The mere sound of her voice sends me into a state of near rage. She is older than dirt and annoying as hell. She claims to have a programming background and all I can think of is how she must have been programming with punchcards in the 1950s because there is no way she could have been programming with anything remotely current.
Today, our phones went dead for about 5 minutes. Immediately, she had to ask to anyone within earshot (which included half the county) if there were other technical issues as well because she was having problems. Evidently, she was the only one that was experiencing any other kinds of technical difficulty, so it was immediately apparent to me she was experiencing an EBCAK (error between chair and keyboard).
This wasn't enough, she had to repeat her question, even louder that the first time, and accentuate it with grunts and sighs of disgust. It takes a tremendous amount of willpower for me to not slap the backside of her head.
When the phones returned to service a few moments later, she silenced herself. Unfortunately, this silence will only remain a short while before she begins to complain about something else. This is her pattern. Anything can happen to anyone in the department and she will begin her whining - even if her complaints are completely unrelated.
Example:
"Damn, my keyboard froze!" Anonymous departmental worker.
"Is the network crashing? Our systems suck! I can't add these numbers together!" Annoying bitch I work with.
When this woman put in her notice, I celebrated. Then she retracted her resignation to return on a part-time basis. I got drunk out of depression.
To make matters worse, the person coming in to replace her position is yet another individual that I despise. I am very selective with my feelings of loathing. I don't randomly hate anyone, they have to earn that much emotional dedication. The replacement woman is a fat, snotty, know-it-all whale. I have nothing against anyone struggling with their waistline. I have my own bulge to deal with. But when it is accompanied with seriously retarded attitudes, I lose any tolerance.
So, I get to trade one annoying bitch for two. Isn't that just special?
First, understand that the company I work for is about 85% female. This makes for interesting cross-cubicle chat - much of which I have the misfortune to overhear whether I want to or not. "No, I can't walk with you today; I'm on my period." I don't want or need to hear this shit. I am a fairly sensitive man, but I don't really want to know anyone's bodily functions at any given time. Just like I don't think they would want to hear me say, "I can't come to your cubicle at the moment, I have a really bad case of jock itch."
But there is one woman in particular that affects me like fingernails on a chalkboard. The mere sound of her voice sends me into a state of near rage. She is older than dirt and annoying as hell. She claims to have a programming background and all I can think of is how she must have been programming with punchcards in the 1950s because there is no way she could have been programming with anything remotely current.
Today, our phones went dead for about 5 minutes. Immediately, she had to ask to anyone within earshot (which included half the county) if there were other technical issues as well because she was having problems. Evidently, she was the only one that was experiencing any other kinds of technical difficulty, so it was immediately apparent to me she was experiencing an EBCAK (error between chair and keyboard).
This wasn't enough, she had to repeat her question, even louder that the first time, and accentuate it with grunts and sighs of disgust. It takes a tremendous amount of willpower for me to not slap the backside of her head.
When the phones returned to service a few moments later, she silenced herself. Unfortunately, this silence will only remain a short while before she begins to complain about something else. This is her pattern. Anything can happen to anyone in the department and she will begin her whining - even if her complaints are completely unrelated.
Example:
"Damn, my keyboard froze!" Anonymous departmental worker.
"Is the network crashing? Our systems suck! I can't add these numbers together!" Annoying bitch I work with.
When this woman put in her notice, I celebrated. Then she retracted her resignation to return on a part-time basis. I got drunk out of depression.
To make matters worse, the person coming in to replace her position is yet another individual that I despise. I am very selective with my feelings of loathing. I don't randomly hate anyone, they have to earn that much emotional dedication. The replacement woman is a fat, snotty, know-it-all whale. I have nothing against anyone struggling with their waistline. I have my own bulge to deal with. But when it is accompanied with seriously retarded attitudes, I lose any tolerance.
So, I get to trade one annoying bitch for two. Isn't that just special?
posted by Gern at 12:40 PM
3 Comments:
I can totally empathize with dealing with annoying bitches, or anyone annoying for that matter. I'm usually a peaceful (hah!), blues loving girl myself, but I find after dealing with people everyday I've taken to listening to angry white male music on my way home from work just to work all the bull out of my system. And then I have the stiff drink!
Wow, and here I thought I would be raked over the coals by females everywhere.
Thank you ladies for understanding and not roasting my ass over a bed of hex-laden coals.
Stun guns are cheaper than tazers, but then I would have to be a lot closer to my victim. So I guess I will have to wait until I can afford the tazer. Bummer.
Smart ass. Of course the toys were what you were thinking. Every self-possessing girl has to have at least one or two. Variety is the spice of life!
Blues? Of course SRV has to come into play, along with a little BB, Kenny Wayne, Robert Cray, my fav local band The Predators... the list goes on. I like lots of other music, but the blues tops.
Angry white male music? Korn, Staind, that genre. I enjoy it, but I have to be in the right mood for it.
And, yea, I got the answers. It was everything I could ever need! Seriously though, I'm just ready to get this move done and get my work back under control. I don't see that happening until the end of Sept., but I will keep waiting.
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