Brain Rain

What is this drizzle I keep writing? I never proclaimed to be remotely interesting, but this droll kind of pablum I have spewed forth the last couple of entries just bores me to tears.

I guess that is just how life has been plodding along for me lately. Bland. Beige.

I went to the "jam session" tonight. I was almost embarrassed at how badly I played. Two months of no practice will make a loser out of anyone, I guess. Not that I am all that great in the first place, but tonight was humiliating. Strangely enough, these guys want to keep going. I can't fucking figure that out.

We got a new drummer tonight. He looks like Huey Lewis. Well, sort of. I looked around the room and I thought, "Is this what I have become? Am I really this old?" Yeah, I am, but I sure as hell don't look as old as these other guys.

Took a short break for a phone call and realized that I am still writing just plain crap.

Oh, yeah, so I guess I am still on for this music gig. Don't know or much care where it leads at this point.



I spent $1000 I didn't have today on a new amplifier. Silly creditors. Don't know I will default? It is my destiny.

I honestly have more integrity than that, it just felt fun to write it.

I think what I hate the most is that when I am not sitting in front of an empty post, I can think of loads of stuff to write about (heh heh....I said "loads"....). But as soon as I sit down to actually write the damn thing...complete mental failure. I know I am not a true "writer." I read other posts and see what "real" writing is about. It's not the crap I come up with.

Until I can give my mind an enema and write something more productive, I am calling it quits - at least for tonight.